War and Peace
by yohdawn
Summary: How did Lara and Sam feel after they got separated? Lara x Sam story, takes place on the shipwreck beach and later on. Contains spoilers. Please give it a go :)
1. Chapter 1

When she touches your scars, you can't help but close your eyes and lose yourself at the feeling of her cold fingers against your rough skin. But it is Sam's touch and her touch comforts. Even if it's a brief brush of fingertips. Your lips curl into a soft smile.

"Does it… Does it hurt?" Sam asks sadly when she carefully touches your ribs again. Her voice is shaking and you can't help but curse yourself. Because you are the reason of Sam's sadness, you are the reason Sam's heart is breaking right now.

You're both standing in the middle of the shipwreck beach. Reyes, Jonah and Whitman are sitting near the camp fire, trying to gain some warmth as the day draws to its end and the winds get colder. You should be happy that they're here, that death hasn't found a way to them but you have this feeling of uneasiness in your stomach that stops you from cherishing the moment. Another disaster is somewhat near, you can feel it.

You wanted to scream and shout from the top of your lungs about a minute ago, when Sam has placed her hand on your broken ribs but now the pain slowly subsides and almost disappears without a trace. You appreciate it, even if it's for a little while. When the crushing pain vanishes, another feeling emerges. It's somewhat the opposite of the uneasiness you're still feeling. This feeling makes your heart skip a beat and feel a bit dizzy, like everything around you is spinning even though you're standing in one particular spot. You can't quite figure out these feelings, as if the island has taken your ability to feel anything at all. It feels so strange, it's like you're being torn in half, one half is in peace and the other one is at war. But what kind of peace is this? And what are the reasons of the war within you? You try and try to understand all of this but your poor head starts to hurt too much to properly function. It's frustrating (whoever said that ignorance is bliss was a moron).

You snap out of your thoughts as soon as a cold hand touches your bruised cheek. And then you finally realize (your reaction is somewhat slow now) that Sam is here, Sam is safe and now it's the most important thing in the world. Sam is right in front of you. She looks uninjured and unscathed but her eyes tell that the most painful scars are now inside of her, torturing her, tormenting her. But Sam is really here, she's real and the heat that is radiating from her hand proves it.

"A bit" you say, your voice dry and hoarse from not speaking for a while. Then you realize that in a way, you're lying. Because it usually hurts like hell but Sam's hand is still placed on your ribs and you think that maybe, maybe it's her touch that makes the pain go away (is that possible?). Her other hand is still lingering on your cheek, stroking it with her thumb. Your headache gets so bad that you have to close your eyes for a couple of seconds. Maybe it will go away too.

"Lara" you hear Sam growl and look away. You don't want to think about all of the injuries right now, the pain, the killings, the sound of the guns, men shouting, bodies falling, blood spilling… You shake your head a bit - you don't want to think about yourself at all. What matters the most is right in front of you (and it's true).

Sam then carefully slides her hand down your cheek until she cups your chin with her fingers and lifts it up so she can look at you. Your hazel eyes meet Sam's dark grey and you feel like you're glued to them, you can't stop staring into them. They're so mesmerizing… You feel getting lost in the depth of Sam's eyes. Your whole body is shaking as if electricity is running down through your veins.

"Lara, don't lie to me. I know you want to seem strong and trust me, you are but please don't lie" says Sam and for a moment there's this unreadable look she has before her beautiful eyes start to water.

"I-I'm sorry. Sam, plea-please, don't" you stutter. You feel so devastated you can't even finish the sentence. So you just stand there and stare at your empty hands that have seen better times. You didn't want to lie, you didn't want to make Sam cry (you almost start crying too but get a grip on yourself).

Suddenly, you feel a slight pressure to your waist and it stings a bit. You do not understand what is going on at first but then you feel Sam hugging you, tightly clutching the fabric of your tank top, holding you tightly as she brings her body closer to yours.

"I-I thought you died, Lara. I thought this island took you away from me. And-and then I lost any will to go on because I didn't care anymore" Sam breathes these words into your neck. "But then I heard you on the radio I stole from the guard and I felt different. I didn't-I didn't know what that feeling was but I knew I wanted to go on, to go on so I could see you". Sam mutters into your neck and you feel her tighten her hold of you even more (Sam is almost crushing you now).

"Poor Sam" you think as your dirty hands embrace her. She's slightly shaking because of all the hot tears pouring out. You stand there like this, for a moment not caring about the Sun Queen, about Mathias, about the Yamatai, you just want Sam to calm down so you hold her tightly (it hurts a little but you don't care) and you whisper gentle words into her ear. After a few minutes it seems that Sam has calmed down and her hands slowly let go of the fabric of your shirt ("too soon" you think to yourself).

"Do you feel better?" you ask and then wipe away some of the tears on her pretty face.

"Are you both okay there? It's dark so I can't really see you anymore" you hear Jonah shout from the campsite. You and Sam are standing quite far away from the remaining survivors so it's expected for them to worry about your safety. Jonah is quiet, too quiet and you think there's something he wants to tell you but doesn't want the others to hear. Whitman is really sketchy, earlier he said that he ran for miles but he never broke down in sweat, you think there's something up with him and the Solarii. Reyes is being cold and distant but can you blame her? Roth's death has affected the both of you the most and now all she wants to do is get off of this island and see her daughter. She even said that they'll be leaving in the morning, with or without you and you think it's fair. It's your fault after all, it's your fault everyone is dying around you, it's your fault you're on this island, it's your fault that Sam…

"We're good" Sam yells back and you can't help but think that you're not. Nothing about this is good, you can't leave this island yet, you need some answers.

"Are you hurt?" you manage to ask her as you take her hand – so soft yet so cold. Her hands are the opposite of yours, your hands are always warm yet the skin is rough. Nevertheless, Sam's hand perfectly fits into yours (like they're meant to be this way).

"No, not really, I'm good, just terrified" Sam answers honestly and then takes both of your hands into hers. A sigh escapes your lips.

"It's all my fault" you say silently, evading her eyes. "It's my fault I fell asleep, it's my fault you were taken away".

"Lara, you're not-" she begins but I cut her off.

"Don't" you say as you raise your head in shame to look into Sam's worries eyes. "Don't say it's not true because it is".

"It's not" Sam shakes her head carefully. "It's my fault that I trusted that bastard".

That is not right at all. Sam has always been caring and kind, too kind but that's what you loved about her. She has always been nice and giving, always worrying about everyone. Sam trusts people too easily but you can understand her. She is somewhat naïve and idealistic, she doesn't understand why someone would hurt other people on purpose (and you don't understand that either).

"I need to go" you whisper and then turn around slowly, turning your back to Sam. You're not lying this time, you really need to go, you need to get the answers to the questions that have been floating in your mind since the arrival. Maybe even longer.

"Don't go" she pleads and your heart almost breaks at the despair in her voice. She sounds so scared, so lonely. You don't want to leave her.

"I need to go" your dry lips automatically repeat. You then feel a warm breath on your back. Sam took a couple of steps and put her head between your bare should blades. She has put her hands around your waist and now her hands are resting on your stomach.

"I don't want you to go, something might happen to you" she says seriously but you can't help it and laugh a bit at that. You're more worried that something might happen to Sam, at the moment you don't care about yourself at all. You then remember when you wanted to give up, to lie down and never stand up, but when you heard Sam's voice through that radio, you knew that you had to keep going. For her.

"I stopped worrying about me a long time ago" you say and shift, trying to turn around so you could see Sam's face. But when you do turn around, she looks down and just puts her head on your chest. Your heart is beating like crazy, but why? Sam just holds on to you tightly and her breath tickles a bit.

"What is it?" you ask her, you know she wanted to say something.

"Don't say that, I worry about you, everyone does" you barely hear what she's saying as she mutters it directly into your collarbone. You wanted to say that she doesn't need to worry about you, that you're fine but you didn't want to make her sad again.

"I worry about you too, that's why I gave you the gun. Don't show it anyone, alright?" You raise your hand and shyly touch her hair. "Please Sam, be careful, I beg you".

Sam lifts her head and looks straight into your eyes, she has that look again. You can't help but think how beautiful she is, her facial features are soft, eyes (even though Sam has gone through a lot) still very inviting and her skin is like white porcelain.

"Can I-?" No, it doesn't matter" Sam suddenly says and trails off.

"What?" you look at her confused. You have no idea what she wants to say but you guess it's something important because Sam looks lost and confused too.

Sam stares into your lips and you finally understand. You finally understand that peaceful feeling within you. You only feel that way when you're with Sam and though you should feel in shock, you don't. Because it's only natural, love is only natural. You love her, you love Sam and she loves you back because that unreadable feeling in her eyes is love, her eyes are filled with love. You look into Sam's eyes and confirm it. You guess that you always loved her, since the first time you accidentally met at a university party. You didn't want to attend that stupid party in the first place, but meeting her was worth it. It's all worth it, because Sam is worth only the best. I need to find a way for us to get off this island…

"Sam" you suddenly pronounce her name very clearly. You feel like you've never been so scared in your life.

She just looks at you and then you lean in a bit and brush her lips with yours. It's only a brief touch of lips, a chaste kiss but it means the world to you. And probably it means the world to Sam as well. You touch her cheek gently and she gives you one of the brightest smiles you've ever seen (and it's very nice seeing Sam smiling in this god forgotten place). Sam then carefully wraps her hands around your neck and pulls you further into the kiss. Your hands instantly encircle her waist and you pull her closer to your body. You both melt into the kiss, tongues dancing in your mouths, hands touching uncovered skin. And for a moment, peace reigns within you. You pull back to get some air into your lungs because you can't breathe anymore. Sam does the same, then she just smiles and puts her forehead against yours. You close your eyes and enjoy the moment. You feel like you're home, because home doesn't have to be a place, it can be a person.

"I really don't want to go but I have to" you break the silence and Sam's smile turns into a sad, painful one.

"I know" she says and lets you go. You just stare into the sand at your feet, you don't know what to say. Even if you knew, you wouldn't be able to cheer up Sam.

"I'll see you soon" you try to brighten the mood but it doesn't work.

"It doesn't feel that way" Sam says and looks at you. It doesn't feel like that to you either but you don't say anything, you don't want to worry her even more. Besides, maybe you're wrong, who knows?

You take a step forward and softly kiss her temple, then turn around and decisively start walking away from her. When you turn around later, you can barely see because it's so dark but you still catch a glimpse of Sam's figure. She's standing in the same place she was as you left. Your feeling of uneasiness kicks back in but you try to ignore it and keep on going forward. Everything will be fine, right?

You return to the campsite the next day. You're even more bruised and battered but equipped with knowledge now. But as you get closer, you see only Jonah and Reyes. No Whitman, no Sam.

So that's what the uneasiness was about. Your heart shatters into a million pieces.


	2. Chapter 2

**Wow, thank you everyone for your feedback and follows/favs. It means a lot to me, I'm really glad that you like my little story **** A lot of people wanted me to continue writing and I guess I will. I don't know how many chapters there will be in total but I'd like to write at least a few more. **

**So here you go, a chapter from Sam's POV after the events that took place at the shipwreck beach. Don't forget to review ;)**

"Whitman, you bastard" you thought to yourself when you heard the crazy men attack and he suddenly pulled you up to your feet. Lara was right all along, there was definitely something wrong with him, something nor you, nor Reyes, nor Jonah had realized. He had that crazy look in his blue eyes again, the same one when he'd talk about Yamatai being a gold mine. He really is that desperate for fame. But fame, where does it get you? It's not the same thing as honor and you think that people should strive for something like honor, instead of fame. Fame is something so superficial that you put on yourself, it's like a mask that everyone adores, not paying enough attention to other things. And honor is a feeling, a feeling burning within you. And it lasts, and it's worth more than all the money in the world. Whitman was now dragging you away from Jonah and Reyes, who were battling against the swarms of evil men. You cried, you shouted, you tried to knock some sense into him but he was absolutely deaf. He was deaf to all of your pleadings and reasoning and tears. He couldn't hear you because he no longer was here, Whitman was in his head, fantasizing how famous he will get, how much money he will have, how he'll give interviews on various TV shows. He was smiling, you guess he thought about how he'd looked in the newspaper's. He didn't care about the crew, he didn't care about archeology, he didn't care about people dying and he definitely didn't care about you. What's a small sacrifice (your life) to his future fame as the world's greatest archeologist? But that is not true, is it? He doesn't deserve this title, Lara does. Lara…

You shiver and then all the feelings wash over you. You can barely breathe, you break into a cold sweat and you have this feeling that you're either going to pass out or throw up. You'll never see her again. You will never see that precious human being, you'll never be able to embrace her. You'll never get another chance to kiss her. No, no, no. All these thoughts in your head, they need to stop existing. Please, go away. At this point you don't even care about yourself, what matters the most is that you will never see Lara. No, you need to stop thinking about this, it won't help. But the twisted thoughts inside your head settle in and you feel as if some dark entity has obsessed you (a premonition?). The pessimistic thoughts in your head got comfortable, too comfortable. But of course, they've always been lurking there, hiding just behind the corner when you didn't let yourself feel bad, when you didn't let them take over you. You fought against pessimism even if the situations were absolutely hopeless (and now the word "hopeless" doesn't suit this at all, there are no words for this). You suddenly feel tired, too tired to walk but your legs take a step after a step almost automatically. Whitman has tied your hands behind your back and is holding you at gunpoint. Maybe that's it? Maybe you should annoy him to the point where he will fire a bullet straight through your forehead? For a moment you think that it can be your salvation. No Sam, he won't kill you, they need you, Mathias needs you, Himiko needs you.

Isn't it just ridiculously funny? That it's you that they need, they long for, they'e been searching for. That you have the Sun Queen's blood running through your veins. That you (what they seem to think) are the one. It becomes so funny to you that for a minute you start laughing hysterically. Whitman does so too but obviously because of different reasons. Then the ridiculousness subsides and the reality kicks back in. This isn't even remotely funny, it's sad. No, not sad, it's absolutely terrifying and painful.

You see a figure in the distance, as you get closer to it, you close your eyes. You don't need to see his face again, you already now who it is.

"Welcome back Sam, we missed you" you hear his low voice mocking you and you open your eyes. Mathias. This is the man who turned your world upside down, who turned it into chaos filled with despair. Even his dark eyes seemed like small black holes. He's holding something white in one of his hands, a scepter in the other and for a while, all you can think about is the contrast of whiteness of the cloth and the dirt all around you.

"Is it really true? Will I be honored by bringing the new Sun Queen? Whitman asks excitedly, taking off his glasses. Is he really that deranged?

"Of course, people will worship you almost as much as the Sun Queen herself" Mathias says simply. This bastard is such a good manipulator, he can trick people into thinking whatever they want. No wonder that he's the one who created the Solarii and was their leader, they deserved someone like him.

But Whitman doesn't care, his grin just widens but then he pretends to be humble and starts coughing. He cleans off his glasses and puts them on again.  
"Of course, of course" you can hear him say. What a naïve man.

"Now Sam, be a good girl and change into this behind that pillar" Mathias says handing you the white thing (ritual clothes) and pointing to the pillar nearby.

"What if I'm going to run away? You hiss through your clenched teeth. "What are you going to do then?". Mathias just laughs at you.

"There's nowhere to run, you can't run away from this place" he says and you agree.

"But what if I start running?" you ask cockily but you feel that your eyes look scared and betray you. Mathias laughs even more, he really is crazy.

"Then the good doctor will fire a bullet into your body" he says seriously and points to Whitman who is now muttering something to himself. You painfully recognize it as some kind of an acceptance speech.

"You can't kill me, you need me to get off of this stupid island" you hear yourself say with arrogance in your voice.

"I'm not planning to kill you but if you try something funny, I will shoot a bullet into your leg and drag you to the ritual chamber if I have to" he says looking straight into your eyes. You get a chill down your spine. The worst part of this is that you know he's not kidding. He will do it, he won't hesitate.

So you grab the dress and Mathias releases the ropes around your wrists and you start rubbing them with your fingers almost immediately. The ropes have left red markings around your wrists and they hurt greatly. Almost all the time you've spent in this island you've been restricted of movement, you're so sick of this. You then angrily go over that damn pillar. You turn around to see where's Mathias and Whitman, they'd better not be peeking. But both men are looking in a different direction. Thank god, at least they have some decency left in them. You take off your leather jacket and carefully fold it and put it on the ground. You have no idea why are you doing this because there's no point. You take of your dirty T-shirt and slip into the dress. You take off your jeans and then you put your clothes into a neat pile. You look at your body and it's really scary how the dress fits you perfectly. It's cold here, it's cold being in a dress in the mountains. You start shivering. Stop whining Sam, Lara is only in a tank top and a thin undershirt and she had it worst than you. You think you wouldn't be able to survive like Lara had, she is such a strong person. She always was and you always have admired her. You wonder where is she now – Lara, where are you? You let out a sad sigh, it hurts so much, it hurts so much inside that you feel like you'll start crying any minute now. This will be the only time Lara won't be able to keep her promise…

"Are you done yet?" Mathias asks, clearly annoyed that you're taking a long time to dress. You peek out. He's still turned to the opposite direction, it looks like he's weaving a crown with the flowers he found on the way. You sigh again and your breath hitches. Well, there's no point in prolonging the inevitable.

"I am" you step out from behind the pillar. Mathias gives you one of his creepy smiles and Whitman just nods. You step closer to them, Mathias then places a crown on your head and ties pieces of cloth on you wrists. Now you're all dressed for the party.

"Hands behind your back" he growls at you and you comply. There's nowhere you can run anyway.

Mathias ties them again, picks up the thing he calls a scepter and then pushes you forward. Whitman is right behind you, not even looking at you. You want to curse, you want to scream at him, if it wasn't for him, you might have had a chance of leaving this place. But there's no escape now. "No one leaves".

Then you try not to think about it, but there's nothing else to think about, everything is so depressing and morbid. When you think about the crew, you think about Grim, and Alex and Roth. How they all have died, how all of their bodies are gone. You're not even sure if Reyes or Jonah, or even Lara is alive. Maybe they're all dead by now. And it's all because of you. Then you start thinking about Lara and how much she's changed. The fire in her eyes is more intense than ever before and there's this feeling you get, like she's no the same person but in a way, she still is. You don't know how to explain this, even to yourself, all you can do is feel it. And you do. Her body has changed so much as well. Her arms are stronger now, she's grown a lot of muscles from climbing, her collarbone is ever so supple, her skin has gotten a bit rough from the landscape. Lara is a true survivor, inside and out. And she's so beautiful. Lara has always said that you were touchy-feely but it's only because when you looked at her, all you wanted to do was touch her. And you did, you pulled her into hugs, touched her hand, caressed her cheek, tucked the loose strands of hair behind her ears. Anything that could make your body draw closer to her.

You loved Lara. With all of your heart, you never loved anyone like this. When she was sad, you felt sad too and when she was happy, you couldn't stop smiling. You wanted her in so many ways, and not only her body, you wanted her to be with you, to comfort you, to cheer you up. Lara always did that, you were inseparable; you couldn't imagine your life without her. You loved her talking about archeology and history, and though it wasn't really that interesting to you, you'd still listen, because when Lara told stories, they were the best you've ever heard. You loved the fire in her eyes, you loved her smile and her lips. But some days were terrible. On those days all you'd ever think was how you want to claim her lips with yours or caress her skin with your fingers. You would then try to avoid her because looking at her was painful, because looking at someone/something you can never have is always painful.

And then she kissed you. On the shipwreck beach where all the lost souls of the island have gathered, she kissed you. You have always imagined it being a bit different, Lara's lips being softer, her skin being warmer. But then again, who cares, at least it was REAL. That kiss changed everything within you, like she had wiped away the essence of you and then rebuilt it again, making it better, making it stronger. The way she looked at you, her eyes betrayed that she wanted you as much as you wanted her.

But it's hard, too hard to let her go, too hard to understand that your actions won't change anything, too hard to accept the inevitable death. You have never felt so weak, so helpless. This is it, the apocalypse. You get closer and closer, you can feel it, your footsteps are getting heavier and heavier and it's like Mathias is pushing you now. He will find his salvation and you will find death. Then you suddenly stop. Mathias carefully peeks out to identify the Stormguards. Then he turns to Whitman and tells him something about the Stromguards wanting to meet him, to greet him, congratulate him on his success. James Whitman mutters something and then says that he had the experience with dealing with these kinds of tribes in the past. He slowly starts walking towards his doom. And you want to scream, you want to warn him but you can't, as if you're lips are sewn together, you can't seem to let out any noise. Mathias grabs you and then runs past through the Stromgruads.

"Whitman, you fool" you silently whisper to yourself when you hear his last screams (that will forever echo in your ears), Mathias still dragging you forward.


	3. Chapter 3

**I can't describe how thankful I am for all the encouragement you give me **** Your reviews mean so much to me so thank you for sharing your opinion. Also, I'm going to apologize for any possible grammar mistakes because my native language is not English, hope you can forgive me :D  
This chapter is from Lara's POV, right after what happened in chapter 2. Enjoy!  
P.S. I wanted to post this later, but today is my birthday and I want reviews, so I'm going to post this now XD**

Your body moves on its own and it seems that your foggy brain functions separately. You have no idea what you're doing but you're doing it. What is happening? Your body jumps off of a cliff and you land on your feet. For a second you think that the floor underneath you will collapse but it doesn't, you're on solid ground. Your brain then reminds you that James Whitman has just been killed and you sigh. Even though Whitman was a bastard for betraying everyone like that and lying, he didn't deserve to die like this. No one deserves to die a horrible death like this. But what can you say, he got star struck and his own damn foolishness (even naivety) had led him to his inevitable doom. Your body moves while your mind briefly prays for Whitman. Let his soul rest in peace.

"Lara" Sam has noticed you and yells your name and struggles to get out of Mathias grasp.

"Sam" you yell as if your lungs are on fire. Then you fall, you struggle to get up, but you do. "Sam" you keep repeating her name. Mathias stops to look at you for a second, laughing at your struggle. Then he continues on dragging Sam forward, to the monastery, to Himiko, to Sam's death.  
What was once a bridge, now such thing exists no more. The winds tore it apart and now there's a huge hole in its place, making it even more difficult for you to get on the other side. And though great distance separates you from Sam, you feel lighter just from seeing her. Your whole body is now burning just from the sight of Sam, you feel like your heart will jump out of your chest any second and then run to Sam, because that's to whom it belongs.

But then you snap out of your thoughts. You need to figure a way out, how to get to the monastery, how to stop Mathias, how to help Sam. But for a while, your mind is as blank as a piece of paper. You never stopped to think about what is going on but really – what is happening? Why us? Why it has to be Sam? There is that weird feeling in your gut again, the feeling that always resurrects whenever you see Sam's face. The thing that people call _love_. They also said that love is weird and love hurts and it's difficult. But it's not, you just simply have to stop thinking and love from all of your heart. You love Sam and she loves you, it's always been there, you both just needed time to realize it. You guess that Sam figured it out faster than you, sometimes she would grasp your hand too tight, or hug you for too long. Sometimes she had that painful look whenever she looked at you but you could never figure it out. But now you understand – Sam was waiting for you.

You sneak past the Oni, past the Stormguards and pray to whatever entity there is that they won't notice you just yet. You have to climb again, be strong again and even though you're tired as hell, you don't let the fatigue get to you. Because then it would be over. You have to defeat the demons in your head to keep on going. The fight is not over yet, it hasn't even started. Remember, the most important thing is to keep moving. And you do. You run forward decisively, there's no way back (literally too) as the floor is falling under your feet, being licked by the nasty and hot tongues of flames. Now is not the time to be weak, Lara. As you say these words to encourage yourself, you fall, again. The number of how many times you have fallen doesn't interest you at all, the more important thing is that you get up every time, you have to. You carry on and it gets even more difficult to move, the winds get harsher, harder, colder. You try to protect your eyes from the sand and the wind and then you fall and as you do. A strange sound is coming from somewhere. A bell? Then this means that… And they're all here in a matter of moments, the Oni, the Stormguards, in the distance they look like little ants but you know better than to underestimate them, they are the deadly warriors, the guards of the Sun Queen. You hear the battle cries, the screams as their footsteps get closer and closer. Emotions take over you, you get scared, you get frightened.

There's too many of them" you think. You fought against the Solarii, but these, these _demons _are completely different, better prepared and better equipped. They have been guarding the Sun Queen all this time, killing anyone who's in their way. They don't hesitate.

"Alright you bastards, let's see what you got" you hear yourself shout. But it came out more from panic than courage. You're in panic, your hands are shaking and you can barely hold the weapons you carry. They're fast, one wrong move and you're dead. They don't feel nor mercy, nor sympathy. Kill the intruder, that's all. Maybe… maybe this is it? Maybe this is the place where you die? They'll kill you swiftly; you don't have to worry about it. Your body will rot here and the winds will scatter your bones all over the island. Just like many people's bones you have seen all over the Yamatai. People who lost their lives here, many of them not understanding why. All the poor souls, this island has taken too many of them. But wait, there will be no winds, there will be no storms. The Sun Queen will be back, and that means that Sam will be… dead. You shake your head, you can't let this happen. You love Sam, you need her, you want her and you didn't even have the chance to tell her that. You have to tell her, she needs to know this. Finally, you have found happiness you never thought existed, you can't let it be taken away from you so easily. Not now, not while you still can change things. With the rifle in your hands, you think that it's high time you put those bastards to rest.

You somehow make it to he ritual chamber (you barely made it). You see all the Sun Queens, lined up in here, in front of the mightiest of them – Himiko. When you take a look at the imagery below, a painful realization hits you. Your head is spinning and it feels like you'll get sick. No, no, no. This… this is… You look around, they are not the other Sun Queens, they are _her_, Himiko, the original Sun Queen. The Ascension ritual just transfers her soul into a different body, thus making her immortal. All these poor souls, Himiko had snatched their bodies and let their souls wander around this place angry, sad, lost and forgotten. Poor girls, most of them died during the fire ritual and even those, who for a second thought they were lucky and lived, were still forced to die, just in another way. Selfish Sun Queen, was one lifetime not enough for you?

"And now you want Sam" you say as you turn to the statue. You will never let this happen, you can't. "Well, you're not getting her" you say angrily and storm off. Sam is yours, yours only, you won't let some Sun Queen take her body and get rid of Sam's soul. Because Sam's soul is what matters the most, it is a light in the sea of darkness.

Whenever Sam walks into the room, you can say that everyone suddenly feels better, she lifts up everyone's mood, even if you're sad, just one look from her and you find yourself grinning like an idiot. People like being around Sam, she's funny, smart, cute, she never pretends to be someone she's not. Sam is sociable but she never says more than she should, maybe it's because of the way she was raised, she never wasted words. Sam's presence has an even stronger effect on you. When she watches you or is nearby, your breath hitches, your palms get all sweaty and you mutter incoherent sentences. And when she hugs you, or takes your hand, you feel as if you're going to burst into a million pieces, like multicolored confetti. So no, you're not letting anyone take her soul, it's too precious, Sam is too precious.

You turn around and walk away; you need to find Mathias and Sam. Before you lost her forever.


	4. Chapter 4

**Sorry people, I haven't written in a while because I've barely been at home. Also, I have no idea what I'm writing about until after I actually finish the chapter :D So please just bear with me. Thank you for the reviews, they really keep me going so don't stop reviewing :) **

**This chapter is again in Lara's POV but don't be afraid, the next one will be written in Sam's point of view ;) Enjoy!**

It seems that all of your recent movement has been automatic. All the walking, the running, the fighting. Everything you did recently, there was never put much thought into it. You feel that your brain had finally shut down from too much information and experience. It is still hard to believe that all of this is happening to you. It's needless to say you don't want to be here, you want to be somewhere else. With Sam, of course. You've always prayed that at the right moment, when it gets too much, you'll wake up from this bad dream, from this nightmare and will find yourself on S.S. Endurance again. In your cabin, in your bed (obviously). Then you'd slowly walk towards the so called dining room where everyone usually gathers and you'd see everyone happily chatting. You will see Grimm talking to Sam and Roth discussing something with Whitman, Reyes arguing with Alex. Jonah would notice you first and joyfully shout "Little Bird"… But you never did wake up, because this IS reality, this is the truth, there's nowhere left to hide now. Your feet carry your endlessly tired body forwards and you try your best to pay attention to the surroundings. But you can barely do that, you can barely see. You have been deprived of sleep for a long period of time (too long), sometimes it gets hard to differ real men from hallucinations. Lara, let's face it, you're slowly going crazy. You shake your head a bit. On the other hand, this whole place is insane, there is no logic here. At first you didn't understand anything, but once you got the hang of it, everything else just became like connecting the dots. Though it doesn't mean you understand everything entirely, the picture is bigger than you ever expected it to be. So yes, you've become crazy enough to understand this island, this Lost Kingdom and its secrets. You never wanted to, but no one asked what you have wanted. This island is a living, breathing thing with its inhabitants; it won't ever let you go so easily.

Even if you'll get out of here, the nightmares will drag you right back, the scars will remind you of this place every day. You are bound to it, there's no exit, there's no escape. And the faces of Grimm, Roth, Alex… They will never disappear from your head and your thoughts, they'll be always screaming at you because it was your fault they have died, it was your fault you weren't strong enough to help them. A while ago you honestly thought that you did get stronger but that's not true. It's just self deception. This hurts too much and you have no idea if it will ever subside – the pain of loss, the pain of fault, the pain of helplessness. And then you remember the most important thing right now, a person that gets you going – Sam. Why, Sam? Why us? Lara, you dragged her into this, you should have known, damn it. You should have been better informed, should have studied more, understood more. But you guess no matter what would have been done, you could never imagine that Sam could be related to the Sun Queen (it's still terrifying) in this way. Still, you only blame yourself.

"Sam, I believe that our karma is really terrible" you whisper to the wind. Maybe it will carry these words to Sam? But no, it won't. Karma is a bitch, wow can you explain this otherwise? You find love in a hopeless place (it's more of an acknowledgement) and it's taken away from you the same minute. This is some seriously messed up stuff, your brain can't even comprehend how messed up this whole place is. You then think about Sam again, how her familiar smile brightens up the mood and her light touch ignites your whole body. However, you accidentally take a look at your stiff hands. Will Sam truly love a…killer? Something wakes up from its slumber. And the bad thoughts are back again, attacking you, yelling at you and you stop in one place and stand there as if your feet got glued. No, you can't let this happen again. But your even more weak now, it's hard to fight against yourself. You stare at these dirtied hands and close your eyes because you can't take it – you can feel warm blood dripping from them, men are screaming from somewhere nearby, swearing in every language possible. You killed so many of them, mercilessly, easily, without regret, without emotions. How will you ever be able to caress Sam's soft skin with these hands? These gruesome hands that have taken so many lives and did such terrible things. How could your hands even touch something as innocent as Sam? You're just like this cursed island – you have killed too many people (though you have no idea if they were really all innocent or not). You snap out of your thoughts, somehow it got really cold. You open your eyes and see that the monastery is in front of you, there are no men here and your hands are clean. What is going on? I got to the monastery already? Why is it snowing again? You can't believe that you got here so fast. Or maybe it took a lot of time, you don't know. You can't really think about these questions because you simply don't REMEMBER how you got here. You need to rethink about all of this again - did it take a lot of time to get here? Did anyone attack you on the way? You try but you just can't remember, your mind is broken and it's not good, it's not good to be like this right now. How can you save Sam if you're not even being conscious? What if you accidentally hurt her and you won't even realize it? These thoughts scare you so much, you can barely breathe. This is not the time to… to do anything except save Sam. Your brain is a mash of past events and present thoughts. No, Lara, stop thinking, you're thinking too much, it's unnecessary. And so you try, you just notice that the winds are getting colder.

You see a bridge in front of you and you think that there's a 100% chance it is going to get destroyed – struck by lightning or blown away by the vicious winds or just… (whatever, it will still get destroyed). You already got used to that - everything that you touch disappears without a trace and you are left with nothing. You run and through your hands that are protecting your eyes you see something fascinating but strange. Fire? You have no idea how can there be fire alongside with this wind but you know better than to questions this island's logic, you already had this conversation (with yourself). There is no logic here. A huge sculpture of Himiko is right behind the trail of fire and you feel as if she's mocking you, making fun of you. Of course, it's fun to see you struggle and fight. Just a little more and she'll have a new body and you'll lose the most important person in your life; you can't cope with that thought so you close your eyes for a second (again). But then suddenly you hear it, something out of the context, someone's pleas and tears. It can't be, or can it? Sam? Or are you hallucinating again?

"No, no, please" Sam cries in the distance and you run forward with your eyes closed. "Lara" she shouts from the top of her lungs and your eyes fly open.

Mathias is holding her, Sam's hands are tied behind her back. What soothes you the most is that it seems Sam is uninjured. That bastard is holding his sharp scepter too close to her throat, as if threatening you. That doesn't make any sense, he wouldn't kill her, he needs her for the ritual, so why is he acting like this? Then you realize – it doesn't mean he still won't hurt her. You swear, if that man touches Sam, if she will lose even a tiny drop of blood, you will literally rip his head off. Angry, you grab your bow and arrows and point the sharp arrow at Mathias. There's nowhere to run now, bastard.

"Why are you doing this, Mathias?" you shout. There was no point in asking this, this man doesn't bend to common sense, he creates his own reasons.

"Do you think that you're the hero, Lara?" he says coldly and you can feel a chill run down your spine. No, it can't be. Were you really just playing a hero? Saving everyone just so you could feel better about yourself, more important? And Sam is just a damsel in distress you need to save to win the grand prize…

'Everything I've done I did to survive" Mathias says to you. Survival. That's the main reason you're doing this, right? You're just trying to survive, to be able to live, to breathe. You're trying to survive and also take care of other people. But then it means that you're no different that he is. "How many lives have you taken to do the same?" Mathias asks and you feel lost.

It's painful to think about this. Yes, you did kill a lot of men to survive but they would have killed you if they ever had the chance. But no, this doesn't justify anything; it doesn't justify you or Mathias. These killings, some of them were clearly unnecessary but you were scared. You were scared that if you let those men live they will come after you and your friends later. There is a mess in your head and everything seems wrong now. All of your memories are disorganized and scattered in your head and you can't recall anything.

While you think about this, that bastard pushes Sam towards the fire. What is he doing? They will both die if they step any further. You can't concentrate but you're still aiming at him and trying to decide what to do.

"There are no heroes here, only survivors" Mathias says quietly, you can barely hear his voice. You agree with him on this one but like you've thought before, it doesn't justify anything, this way of thinking just makes it easier to accept (and we always choose the easiest way).

They're slowly going towards the fire, closer to the monastery and you feel scared. There's no way you can take him down without hurting Sam but they're slipping away, it may be your only chance. So you try another approach – you don't think he understands all the odds and they are never in our favour.

"Himiko's dangerous, Mathias" you try to talk him out of this. "She's angry, she's vengeful and she has real power". Does he think Himiko will let him live? Does the foolish man understand that the selfish Queen cares about no one? The Oni and the Stormguards have killed a lot of the Solarii men, why does he think he's different? Just because he is presenting Sam to her?

"A mere mortal for a queen?" this sentence echoes in you ears for a while. Mere mortal? "A good trade for our freedom I'd say". This is not true, Sam is definitely not a mere mortal, she's not, she's not…

As if confirming his words, a lightning strikes nearby and Mathias and Sam run while the ground behind the fire and near the stairs to the monastery collapses. Even the fire had extinguished for a moment to let them pass but then continued on burning mercilessly in front of you. You take another look – the fire is still there but there's no way around it, there's even no ground to place your feet at. Damn it all. Just damn it. Luck is not on your side, hell, nothing is on your side. You let down the bow and take a couple of steps forward, then back, turn around. You feel sick again. You're lost, you're disappointed and confused. Why is this happening? The bow takes its place on your back again and you try to think. Except you can't, your brain is like a bowl of jelly and it doesn't help you at all. Desperately, you look around trying to find an entrance, a hole, anything that can help you get in there, to trick the monastery. You then notice a small passage, it's almost invisible but it's there and thank God for it. Though of course, getting to the top of the monastery won't be easy. But it was never easy before, why suddenly it should start being easy now? You sigh. The clearance you had a moment ago has disappeared and you're almost unable to think again. Shit.

"Run faster, climb higher, be stronger". You feel as if you're going to fall apart any minute.


	5. Chapter 5

**Hello there, I bring you a new chapter :) Hope you like it! Don't forget to tell me what you think, reviews keep me going ;)**  
**As always, I want to thank everyone who reads this, favs, follows it. Especially I want to thank people who review it, your reviews bring me joy so thank you :)**

**This chapter is in Sam's POV as her and Mathias get closer to the top of the monastery. I hope you enjoy it!**

**P.S. Short story. While I was playing the game, about two months ago, I kept listening to "Imagine Dragons" album "Night Visions" and now most of the songs remind me of Tomb Raider, Lara, Sam and etc. Try listening to it, maybe you will also relate it to Tomb Raider. Especially the song "Tiptoe", there are lyrics such as "I won't fall asleep" and Higher, don't let 'em know we're coming. Higher, tiptoe higher. Take some time to sip it down, keep your head down low. Higher, tiptoe higher". Maybe it's just me but try listening to it and then tell me your opinion :)**

This is it, isn't it? There's really no going back, huh? All this time that you've prayed and begged, all of this was for nothing. Because the outcome will be the same no matter what. The facts do not change, no matter how you look at the things. There is absolutely nothing you can do about it. The more you struggle, the more you get hurt. The ropes on your hands get tighter, the words thrown your way get harsher. This is the fate, your fate and there's no escaping it. So why do you not want to give up? It gets more difficult to move, the steps get a bit steeper. You can barely hear anything because of the winds, it seems that they get stronger and stronger as we climb the stairs. Yes, the Sun Queen awaits, she's cheering, it's her triumph. Isn't it ironic? The myth about Himiko was always your favorite (and you guess it was because Japanese blood runs through your veins), you have always liked Himiko and her powers. Now, whenever you hear her name, you want to vomit, you shake uncontrollably. You never thought that the mythical person you have always admired will want your body. This sounds like a fantasy, a children's tale, but it isn't. It's very real and very painful, and as you and Mathias get closer to the top of the monastery, you grow weaker and weaker. This can't be happening. And though you don't have much enthusiasm, there's a fire inside of you that won't let you to give up. What does the fire remind you of? Lara. Lara, because she always has that spark in her eyes, the fire, the fierceness. That fire can either warm you up or burn you to ashes – that's how intense she was. You loved that about her, her eyes always sparkling, fire behind them, igniting everything in her way. But there was something very odd when you saw Lara just minutes ago. Her eyes were empty, as if someone had snapped their fingers and extinguished all of the flames inside of her. You don't judge her, you guess the winds, the men and all the pain have finally got to her. Lara looked exhausted, that she could burst out in tears any minute. You smile to yourself. No, Lara never cries in front of anyone, she has had this façade throughout all the years, as long as you can remember. She never loses it, no matter how helpless she feels. Lara is strong.

"Come on, Samantha, we need to go faster" Mathias says as he pushes you forward. He's being careful, the steps are steep and neither of you want to fall down. His voice is softer, not the usual harsh tone, but does it matter? You guess he'll completely transform into a nice person when you'll reach the top of the monastery. Just because he is so close to his goal, he can almost smell freedom. And you, you don't know how to feel anymore. Like someone has taken away all of your emotions.

"What will happen after the ritual?" you ask, sadness evident in your voice. It's ok to ask, you will not be able to know what happens next. You stop for a bit and sigh. This is not how you've imagined good time at all. It seems that Mathias doesn't mind that your pace has slowed down.

"The Queen will calm down, and she will rule like she did hundreds of years ago" Mathias also stops. "She will rule this god forsaken and forgotten land and we, my men and I, will be able to finally go home". Mathias looks genuinely happy, the madman finally understood that there's nothing in his way. The path is clear.

"Samantha, you know that this is an honor, to be able to shelter the Sun Queen's soul?" he tries to reason with you. It sounds as if he's offering you the most fantastic thing ever to exist.

"Do I really care about the honor of some myth taking over my body?" you spit out the venom. It's true, honor or dishonor, at this moment you don't care about it at all. You still can't understand why you, why this, why now… You don't want to give up because hope dies last (hope will die with you).

Lara gives you hope. She's alive, even when you were separated at the monastery's entrance, you saw that she was fine. Though it is hard to define the word "fine" here. Lara still had major injuries and scratches and she looked like she haven't slept for a while (which is true). She looked lost and her confidence has dissipated but she never showed it. To Mathias at least. She pointed the arrow right at him and he looked really concerned. Who is this girl to mess with his grand plans? He never did understand that it was a mask of Lara's and it was cracking. You have noticed how badly her hands were shaking, how there appeared a vast emptiness inside of her eyes. Of course Mathias hadn't noticed that, he didn't know Lara as well as you did. But that moment, when you saw the look in her, you will remember it for the rest of your life. You have never felt so scared. Not even when Mathias had kidnapped you, or when you saw the Oni for the first time, not even when they tried to set you on fire. The single scariest moment was when you looked into your best friend's eyes and saw that there was… nothing. Absolutely nothing.

"Can you hear it?" Mathias distracts you from your thoughts as you both go up the stairs. How many stairs are there? "Can you hear the bells and the drums?" he looks fascinated, his dark eyes wide open. You try and listen but you hear nothing.  
"No, I don't" you say simply. It's true, you're not lying, you hear nothing but the wind.

"But I can hear them clearly" Mathias says with that insane look in his eyes. "The beautiful sounds, only for you and me, Samantha" he says loudly and then looks around the monastery. He's ecstatic and you guess that he's hallucinating a bit. Or maybe not, maybe his men are really ringing the bells and playing the drums. It's their victory, not yours.

"I don't care about all of this bullshit" you finally snap. Mathias carefully looks at you as if you had just killed somebody. You swore quite often but for the time being you were unable to, you had no strength. You think this burst of emotions showed that a painful realization hit you.

"No, no, don't say that, it's an honor, an honor" he mutters. You guess there's no point in arguing with him, you'll still lose. You already lost. You lost the same minute you trusted this bastard.

Lara never trusted him and you guess it's because she had great instincts. If she didn't like people, she would still talk to them politely, but if it was possible to avoid any confrontation, she'd do that. Though it doesn't mean she'd ignore them, she'd throw casual "hello", "goodbye" and "How are you doing?" but that's all. Lara never did have a lot of friends, only a couple but she trusted them with her life. And you, you had tons of friends. But no, they weren't your friends, not real ones. You never told her how alone you felt with all these people constantly around you. You never knew how to explain it. Lara was the only company you've ever wanted. She was smart, caring, lovely and blunt. Also, naïve in her own special way, but it was nonetheless charming. You are being completely honest when you say that sharing a dorm room with Lara was bittersweet. You loved it at first, having a new friend with whom you could hang out and talk to, watch movies, drink, share your ideas. But then you fell in love with her, with that weird archeologist that wouldn't stop talking about history. You fell in love hard and then it became painful, sharing the room where you've lived together. You would secretly watch her as she read her books, her face would always show immense fascination. You'd always look away when she'd change in front of you, you were afraid you won't be able to control yourself once you see that body. Though now you can clearly remember the most painful memory of them all. It have happened a couple of weeks after you've realized your feelings for Lara and the greatest battles were then fought within. There was a party in your room, there were about six girls in total, not counting you and Lara. Even Lara had joined and was dancing to the music which was blasting through the speakers. You think you were celebrating the end of the semester or something. Then you and a couple of girls got onto your bed and started jumping on it. There was this terrible noise and all of you have realized that you broke the bed, but you didn't care at that moment, you were partying. Only when the guests have disappeared did you notice your broken bed. What will you do now?

"It's ok, Sam" Lara said. "You can sleep with me".

It was torture just thinking about it, how you'll sleep with Lara on a narrow bed. But it got even worse when you crawled into that bed with her. You could barely turn without falling out of the bed, you could feel Lara's breath on your neck and her hands on your waist. Later on, when you carefully turned around, you could feel Lara shift and get closer to you, her breasts were pushing into your back. You couldn't sleep at all that night. The next morning you called your father to make arrangements for your new bed. You smile as you look up. You smile because of all of these memories you have. They provide you warmth and joy. Then you concentrate on your lips trying to recreate the feeling of Lara's lips against yours. Lara has kissed you and hell, it was the best kiss you've ever had. She held you in your arms and you felt safe, you did. When she held you, you felt as if you're both somewhere else, not on this forsaken island. Somewhere far far away from here and in that moment, only the two of you existed, no one else.

"It's almost time" Mathias says as you take the last couple of steps. But you don't feel scared, you know that Lara will find a way, she won't abandon you, she'll help you and you'll get out of here…

"Come, Samantha, it's almost over" he drags you to the middle of what was left of the monastery. It's cold and you're only in the white ritual dress. Only then you notice a lonely tomb there. Mathias commands you to sit down on the cold ground and raises his scepter. As he does, you notice something, as if something has surrounded you and Mathias, some sort of circle, it was barely visible but it existed nonetheless. The wind is gone inside the circle but when you try to look further, you see pieces of wood flying around, snow getting out of control. A protective circle, huh? Then you look at the tomb and you get paralyzed from fear. In front of you, still inside the open tomb, the Sun Queen is sitting and waiting. She's just like you've imagined, though you never imagined her being the reason of your death. Fear takes over you, you're shaking uncontrollably, your palms are sweating and you can barely stay conscious. This can't be happening…

"Oh, great Queen" Mathias yells to the Queen. "Through the trials I have brought you the vessel. Pour forth and return to this mortal coil". You look up and see her, she sits there, she doesn't make a move. Is she really alive? Maybe Mathias misunderstood this. But deep in your hearth you doubt it.

"Pour forth and be reborn". You pray, you have never prayed harder in your life but you know that this won't save you. Prayers won't ever save you. This can't be happening…

"Pour forth and awaken!" Mathias shouts in ecstasy, raising his hands. The Sun Queen then raises her head and you have never seen a face more terrifying than hers, you gasp. A loud scream can be heard as the Sun Queen throws her head back and some weird mystical energy surrounds you both. God, it's painful, it's painful. You hear Mathias laugh and cheer. You scream from the top of your lungs and you start shaking. Your body is floating now, it's floating in the thick air and it gets harder and harder to see something.

"Lara" you whisper as the darkness engulfs you.


	6. Chapter 6

**Sorry for not writing in a while, I was really busy :/  
I hope you enjoy this one, it's written from Lara's POV. Don't forget to review and tell me what you think of it! :)**

Sam couldn't hear you, not anymore. Mystical source, Himiko's power has taken over her and you cursed under your breath. Your desperate screams didn't even echo and despair has filled you. Is it… Are you too late to save her? Is it already over?

"SAM!" you screamed from the top of your lungs but the scream came out only as a silent whisper that you barely heard yourself. You need to get to her, you need to stop that crazy man and the brutal Sun Queen. Even though your gut says it won't be easy, you have to try. Because you don't care who's going to get hurt, as long as it's not Sam. There's still time (you hope). But your arrows don't even reach the barrier; the winds are in your way and you get scared. It'll take too much time to get to her…

"Closer, closer" you mutter to yourself, trying to get through the snow. It's freezing, you're in pain and you feel as if you are going to pass out any minute. But no. No, no. You shake your head. You just can't afford it. This is your moment, this is the fight you've been preparing yourself the second you heard that they've taken Sam again.

It's somehow quiet, too quiet and you feel as if something bad is going to happen (obviously).

"Protect the Queen, protect her" men yell suddenly as they take their positions. "Kill the outsider". There are so many of them, they look like ants to you because your vision is kind of blurry.

Well shit. These men, their eyes are filled with anger, with revenge, blood thirst. You have killed their comrades, friends, brothers. They want to kill you and won't stop at anything until you're dead. It's weird because now you don't feel the guilt, the sorrow that had washed over you earlier (numerous of times too). Like Mathias said, there are only survivors here, no heroes. Survival of the fittest, that's what it is. This whole island is like an arena. This is the Coliseum of the Yamatai, people fighting the more experienced, better prepared, losers praying to the ancient gods for the Emperor to be merciful upon them. It's brutal, but fascinating. Bullets fly past you and you return to the real world. Damn it, these bastards don't know when to give up! Also, you get the feeling as if you are in a jungle. You remember how your father used to tell you stories from his trips and visits. Most of them were precisely about jungles.  
"Lara, you have to remember this" he used to say seriously, putting his hands on your shoulders. "The golden rule of the jungle is – kill or be killed". You didn't believe him, even for a second. You used to think that your father exaggerated this, exaggerated his stories just to seem more important, more experienced, more knowledgeable. But no, he was right all along. You dismissed a lot of your father stories just because they all seemed surreal, strange, brutal, irrelevant. And even though you liked them (your father was a good story-teller), it was difficult to fully comprehend them. You were only a mere child, what did he expect? It is only now that you accept every story with bitterness. This is still hard to understand and you swear you'll try. But not now, now you have to deal with other things. You need to stay alive to be able to go on.

These men have gathered all of their strength for the final battle. The Solarii. To be honest, it's their fight, it's their time to shine and they want to win this badly. They are men and they have their own strange sense of pride. They would never forgive themselves for losing to a girl like you. Then you shiver from the thought that the Oni and the Stormguards might be lurking somewhere nearby, waiting for the right moment. Like there's not enough blood shed already.

"The ritual has begun! Defend Mathias!" they yell and start a rain of bullets. They're crazy, they've gone all out for this. Just to protect that bastard who doesn't really care about them, just to protect the Sun Queen they have grown to hate. These men run, they dodge, they try to get closer to you. Everything, just to take you out, just to remove you from this world.

"For the Queen!", "Protect the ritual!" you hear them shout as they lunge towards you like kamikazes. But you don't care, you take them out one by one with shaking hands. You can't back away now, Sam's life is at stake. But somehow the Solarii have grown inaccurate and slow and you think that it's because they are tired too. Most of them don't even understand what's going on inside of the barrier, only the voice of Mathias guides them.

"Rise, great Queen. Fill this vessel with your spirit!" Fuck you, Mathias. You'll kill him with your own bare hands if you'll have to. It was his fault that Grimm and Alex have died, it was him who have killed Roth… And now he'll be at fault again if you lose Sam. A wave of anger rises in you, you want revenge! He has to pay for everything he'd done, for everyone he'd killed. Yes, yes! Revenge. You kill these men mercilessly as you get closer to the barrier, step by step. Revenge. They have killed your people, people you have grown to love. Revenge. They want Sam. The beautiful, loving and caring, always smiling Sam. Revenge. You are never ever going to forgive them!

You look around and everything looks like hell – men dying, screaming, bleeding, the constructions burning, falling, fading. You're dodging their attacks, hiding behind anything solid and reloading. Reloading, reloading. And then firing bullets into them, into their bodies, trying to be accurate and deadly. These weapons are your saviors, you're glad you found them. But this dark passion that has taken over you, it doesn't feel right, it's not you, it's not entirely who you are. Or is it? No, you need to stop thinking, stop thinking at all. These feelings, they won't help you take down these men, they'll just get in the way. Lara, you need to concentrate. But you suddenly feel very tired and sleepy. Yeah, wait, but concentrate on what? The killings? The massive amount of blood? The screams filled with pain? On your own lack of sleep? No.

Sam. You can barely see her through the winds and the snow but somehow you feel that she's in a massive amount of pain. That selfish Sun Queen, she wants Sam's body and it's still as terrifying as ever. Though it's even scarier now, when you can clearly see some sort of flow there (energy?). This is really happening, Himiko's transferring her power, her soul to Sam and Mathias is cheering. He's been waiting for this moment for who knows how long, this may be his only chance to do this. All he wants is to be able to get off of this island for good. You're not going to let him live.

As you defeat the swarms of men and run forwards, the wind gets so strong, you fall to your feet. Himiko got angry, she can feel that you want to interfere. You are trying to ruin her plan, she's been waiting for ages (literally) and you, a pest, are trying to stop her. The axe helps you not to get blown away by the vicious wind and you thank Roth for giving it to you. Barely, but you can hear Mathias chanting, telling the Sun Queen to rise, to take this opportunity.  
"Oh please… Sam! Hold on!" you yell into the thick air. You doubt Sam can hear you, she's fully engulfed in that mystical energy. But if she somehow can hear you, you hope these words will show her, show her that you're alive and trying your best to save her. If she can hear you, you want her to know you're here, you haven't abandoned her. Though maybe these words are for you even, to ensure yourself and remind yourself what you're doing and what needs to be done. Lightning strikes nearby. Yes, Himiko is pissed and you're a major threat to her. Nothing new but she grows more impatient by seconds.

You have a bad feeling again. Then you look up and see the Oni in right front of you, charging with their drawn swords. What the hell, where did they come from? Now this is getting out of hand, you're still holding onto the axe, you can't evade this. You close your eyes from fear but open them just as the Oni get crushed by a falling tower. How convenient. Maybe luck is on your side after all.

The men just keep on coming, coming and dying, wasting bullets, wasting their energy, wasting their lives. But someone has to be the winner here and you need it to be you. You get up from the cold ground and your head turns to the barrier - you see it become even thicker, even stronger. God, this isn't good, you need to get there faster. It now became difficult to see through, you only see the figures of the people inside of it. Nevertheless, you still know who's inside of the barrier.  
"No, Mathias! Stop!". You have no idea why you're even trying, it's obvious that he won't randomly give up just because you said so. But words flow out of your mouth automatically. It's all part of trying to stop him (you guess). "Don't hurt her!". Despair and sadness.

The lightning absolutely got out of control. It's striking the stones, the buildings, the towers, the men. You need to get to Sam faster or this lightning will be the end of you. It would be a disappointment – to have lived through the attacks of these nasty men but die from being struck by lightning. You run and jump on a lonely pillar that was a just struck, then jump forward and climb the rest of the gap with your axe. Again, it's too quiet, you think they're waiting for you. You take out your rifle and take slow steps. Then you hear it. Men are screaming and it's not because of you, it's because they're fighting off the Oni that are attacking them. It's weird, two groups of men work under one task and one Queen but kill each other so easily... And thank god they do, you'd be even in more trouble if they were cooperating. Still, there's something missing… As soon as this thought leaves your mind, you see the Stormguard climbing the wall, panting. You gasp as he roars and attacks the last two Solarii men. But they're no match for him, bullets can't even touch him because of his strong armor and size. He easily shuns one of them and he dies in an instant. Then he strangles the last one of them (clearly taking pleasure in this).

You sigh again and straighten yourself. He's now right in front of you, there's nowhere to hide. It's time to see what you're truly worth.


	7. Chapter 7

**I hope you will like my take on the battle with the Stormguard and everything else. Like always, I wasn't sure about this chapter so I'm waiting for reviews. I guess there will be maybe two or three more chapters, I want to wrap it up nicely :) You can tell me your suggestions too.**

**This chapter is again in Lara's POV. Enjoy! **

This, this isn't a laughing matter anymore, child games have ended when you first set your feet on this cursed island. And from then on, everything just went more and more out of control, it became absolutely incomprehensible. But there was a sudden moment of clarification and everything started making sense – Himiko, Sam, the fire ritual, the Oni, even Mathias. This is like this lonely constellation of stars in the dark sky. You are tied to Sam, she's tied to the Sun Queen, the Sun Queen is tied to the Oni and so forth. This is like a ball of thread, you're just trying to unravel it, to see the beginning and the end of it, understand how it got tangled. Sam is the brightest star in the constellation, she's the biggest knot in the ball of thread. And those who are involved the most, will get hurt the most. The ugly truth, the fact, that's scaring me the most.

The Stormguard roars and your skin produces goose bumps, you shiver. This inhuman thing, this beast is on your way (or is the other way around?). You've been lucky up until now, always escaping, avoiding the Stormuards, missing them at just at the right moment. But now one is right in front of you and you think that it's not a matter of luck, it's just a matter of time. Lara, you have to trust your instincts fully now, they'll guide you just like they did before. It's because of them you are still alive, still breathing. When he raises that weapon of his, you swear under your breath and your eyes race from side to side, trying to figure out your next move. Your head is blank, there's only one word floating around there somewhere and the word is "Survive". You start running around the small platform that has now turned into an arena, the remains of buildings are burning, everything is engulfed in the flames of fire. The lightning, the dark clouds, the wind, these things make you feel like you are in some sort of a sick movie. But you aren't.

The Stormguard lunges towards you and you have no other option but to roll backwards and evade the hit. The sound when his weapon hits the ground is terrifying and you shiver once more. This bad, this is going to be difficult. You take out your guns but wherever you look – armor, armor everywhere. You aim for the head, just like you did numerous of times before (maybe it will do the trick again), but the bullets just rebound not even grazing him. The monster attacks you again, with more force and you barely dodge this. Shit, that was close! The wind from the swing let's you know that the weapon the Stormuard's holding is extremely heavy and could kill you in an instant; you'd never have the time to even feel the pain. You have mere seconds to observe him before he takes a swing at you again. Come on, come on, think, you need to find his weak spot, his Achilles heel. As you try to run past him, you finally notice, you notice a patch of bare skin on his back. Bingo! This must be it, his weakness.

"Pour forth now, fill up this mortal coil!" you hear somewhere in the distance. That bastard, Mathias. He's encouraging the Sun Queen, inviting her into Sam's warm body. How dare he! You need to hurry, you need to shut him up once and for all. All the pain he's caused, all the deaths, the wounds, the thoughts. You think that even after you'll kill him (and you will, definitely), you won't be able to return back to normal. This experience has been traumatizing and you're not even sure you'll be able to stop thinking about this tragedy. Getting back will be hard, the only person that might tie you down to the Earth is Sam, she will help you to not lose touch with the reality. But now you have to help Sam.

You take out your rifle and start firing bullets into the Stormguard's unprotected back – it's hard to aim with a wind like this. Your mind is cold now, you dodge, you run, you jump, whenever you can you aim at the bastard's back. You have no idea how much time has passed and how much bullets did you waste but you got tired, really really tired. It seems that all the heaviness in the world suddenly fell upon you at once and you feel as if you're going to black out. The lack of normal food, sleep, comfort added up and your knees feel weak, so weak. Is this the end?

But you're not the first one to fall, the Stormguard is. Down on his knees, panting heavily. Lara, it's your chance, it's your moment. You gather your strength and run forward, swinging your axe, going straight for the hideous face, knocking the heavy helmet off of his head. But that doesn't faze him, the Stormguard gets up and grips his weapon tighter. He's clearly pissed and you're in trouble. Nobody said it was going to be easy.

"Rise, great Queen" as you look up, you see the Oni behind the Stormguard. How, how did they get up here? An arrow flies past your ear, reminding you that the fight is far from over. What to do? What to do… You need to take out the Oni first, they could seriously wound or even kill you with those deadly arrows and their perfect accuracy, they need to be stopped.

"Fill this vessel with your spirit" you hear as your rifle shakes in your hands, firing bullets into the demons, seemingly killing them. Goodbye and good riddance, bastards. You evade the Stormguard, he might be strong but he's not fast enough. Again, you aim for the head, now unprotected. He's angrier than ever, roaring, yelling, the lightning is striking everywhere around you and you can barely see through the dust.

"With the rain, may your soul seep in, filling the vessel" Mathias yells. The rain? You look up for a bit just to see heavy clouds covering the sky. Will the Sun Queen's soul get into Sam's body with the help of the rain? It looks like it may rain any minute. Shit, faster, Lara, faster. You need to end this NOW! Your axe flies into the Stomrguard's face one time, then the second, then the third, the fourth. You are smashing his skull with your axe now, the blood is splattering everywhere around you, contrasting with the snow. He finally dies, with a painful expression on his face, knowing that he had failed his mission to protect the Queen. He is finally dead and you feel fulfilled. There's not a single drop of mercy left in you, these monsters have taken away all of it (or was it the monsters inside of you?). Your hands are on your thighs now, you're breathing heavily, resting just for a bit.

"Upon these winds, RISE! RISE!" and your thoughts are back here. It's now his turn, there's no one stopping you now. It's his turn to die, there's no one protecting him now. No Oni, no Solarii, no Stormguards.

"Here now, your vessel awaits" you hear the voice of Mathias get louder as you run to him. You run past the bridge and see a blue flashing light surrounding Sam and Himiko. Right, now you're inside of the barrier too and you need to stop the Queen, fast. There's absolutely no time left, no time.

Sam's body looks lifeless, just floating there and it scares the shit out of you. Is she alive? You take out an arrow and a bow and aim for Himiko. This madness needs to stop. Enough is enough. The selfish Queen, living through ages, stealing other girls bodies, torturing them, killing them. It's time for you to die, you had enough for one lifetime. But then you hear a gunshot and the bow flies out of your hands.

"NO!" Mathias yells as you take out your pistol. You aim at him, barely able to hold the heavy pistol but your every single bullet misses him. He then runs up to you and punches you right in the face (his punch being quite weak), you stab him in the back with your pry axe and he tackles you to the ground.

"This ends now!" he shouts, taking the axe from his back, his body is on you as he tries to strangle you with your own axe. A battle ensues and you feel that Mathias is also weak, tired from guarding Sam, sneaking past the Oni, commanding his men, trying to catch and kill you, helping Himiko. He's out of breath, just like you so it's a draw for now. After a few seconds you feel the adrenaline surge through your veins and then you're stronger than him, faster. You swiftly take out his pistol and try to shoot him in the face but he manages to grab the gun right in time and turn it to his side. You shoot him in his left side. He gets off of you from the impact, holding the wound, preventing the blood from flowing out and you slowly get up (because you have no energy left in you). You grip the two pistols in your hands. Finally, finally you can kill him, finally you can watch him suffer. He's just standing near the edge now, with no more energy left to fight, nowhere left to hide.

"This bullet is for the Endurance" you think to yourself as you fire it into his right shoulder.

"This one is for Grimm" you aim it at his left leg.

"This one is for Roth" you whisper as you plant it into the center of his chest.

"This bullet is for Alex" the bullet flies into his waist.

"This one is for Sam" you aim at his right side.

"And this, this one is for ME!" you aim the pistol at his forehead and shoot. Mathias then falls over the edge, his long and sharp death scream echoing in your ears throughout the mountains. You get closer to the edge to see him still in the air, still falling. Even if the bullets didn't kill him, a fall like this eventually will. Mathias - no one will miss him, no one will mourn him. Men like him should never exist in the first place. But who knows, maybe he was a good guy once, it was this island that slowly had poisoned him throughout the years, deleting his humanity, taking away his sanity. The real Mathias, he died a long time ago but he didn't know it.

You turn and see that Sam's body is floating again and as you take a few steps forward, you understand that it's difficult to reach the Sun Queen because of the pressure surrounding her. When you get closer to her, you see that the energy is flowing from her to Sam like water, in small waves. Just like in that mural you saw in the monastery. You look at Himiko and then you glance at Sam. Oh god, you hope this works and it's not too late. You hope you can get Sam back, you have to tell her so many things. You then take out the torch and somehow manage to light it on fire. This is it, this is it! You stab Himiko in the heart (she never had a heart, she was always ruthless).

She screams as the torch burns her clothes, her body. The energy changes, it goes from water to electricity, lightning and you take a step back to not get hurt. After a minute her body bursts into these tiny bits of energy that dissipate into the wind. It's over, she's dead, she won't hurt us anymore. The mighty, the legendary Sun Queen is finally dead.

You fall down to your knees, not caring that this will hurt later but you have to check up on Sam. You pray in your thoughts that she's alive, she has to be. When you look at her, you see her chest rising and falling meaning she's alive.

"Sam! Oh Sam, thank god" you mutter and feel as you're going to start crying any minute. Sam is alive, Sam is alright, Sam is safe, Sam is… Sam. You touch her, try to help her get a bit more comfortable and when your fingertips touch her skin, you can feel your whole body ignite, all the pain disappear.

"Urgg… wha?" Sam whispers, eyes still closed. "Lara, what's happening?" her eyes fly open and look straight into yours. You feel like you're going to explode with happiness and joy. There are so many feelings in you, you have so many thoughts but none the rest of it matters.

"Shhh… shhh… I'm here" you say gently to Sam, holding her, enjoying the feeling of her unbearably soft skin. "You're safe now, it's okay…". It is, it is okay, you are finally able to say that it's okay. You hold Sam's head and she grasps for your hand. "It's okay".

"You saved me… I knew you would" Sam says as she pats your hand. Your promises are no laughing matter, you never make empty promises, you're not that kind of person. And whenever you promise something to Sam, failure is never an option no matter how impossible the situation may be. And this is the proof of it, the best one you can think of.

"I made you a promise" you reassure her and only then you notice that it's snowing. It's cold here, need to move. "Let's get you home".

There's a weird sense of warmth on the top of your head and you look up to see a ray of light peeking from the heavy clouds. Sun? The ray of light expands and the snow stops falling, the sky is slowly getting clear.

Is this the sign of our victory?


	8. Chapter 8

**Hey guys! Sorry for not updating for a while, I was really busy, almost didn't have the time to actually write the chapter :/ But it's here now so I hope you enjoy it :) Also, do not forget to review it and just tell me what you think of it. **  
**Thi chapter is in Sam's POV.**

You wake up from a terrible nightmare only to see your lover's face right in front of you. You're still lying on the ground because you don't have any energy left in you, the Sun Queen has drained you completely. You can barely think, it is as if your head is absolutely empty. You could hear her, Himiko. When she was trying to take over, she was talking to you in Japanese during the Ascension ritual. Himiko was demanding for you to abandon this body, to disappear. She kept saying that there's no future for you and that she will make you the most powerful person on the face of the Earth. Her voice was soft and gentle but you could feel annoyance hiding behind it. You kept denying everything she said, ignoring her and it was making her impatient. The legendary ruler of Yamatai, the mighty Sun Queen wanted your body, she wanted to live and for you to die. She wanted to go on, she wanted her legacy not to be over. But it doesn't matter now, now she's gone…

"Sam, do you really feel alright?" you hear a very concerned voice. It's Lara.

"Yeah… I just feel drained" you say weakly and close your eyes because the sun's light is too intense for you as you were lost in the immense darkness just moments ago. This is unbelievable, one moment you're dying and the other you are in Lara's arms. You feel fulfilled but at the same time you feel ashamed, that for one moment you doubted that Lara will save you, that you doubted she'll be able to.

"Sorry" you hear Lara whisper and you end up feeling confused. Why is she apologizing? What is she apologizing for?

"Sweetie, what are you apologizing for?" you ask her as your fingers stroke her rough hands.

"That I didn't come earlier, that you had to go through this, that-"

"Lara, please, don't. You saved me and that's enough, it's good enough for me". You know it's only the beginning, the guilt will wash over her way too many times but you need to be there for her. In her eyes you see the want to argue but she gives it up. You guess she's also tired from all of this, you have no idea what did she have to go through on this island. You're not sure you want to know either, but you'll have to, to help and comfort her.

"I'm just..." she stops talking when you put your warm hand on her cheek. She looks so pale, so ill, so tired. She looks like a ghost and for a second you wonder that maybe Lara had died during this journey and came back as a ghost to visit you. Or you are just losing it.

"Can you… Can you walk?" she then randomly asks you ands you snap out of the confusion you created in your head.

"I doubt I have the energy left in me" you say carefully. "Just let me lay a bit more".

"No, no, you'll catch a cold" Lara shakes her head. "Come on, at least try to stand up".

Lara helps you up and holds your hands so you won't fall over. Your feet hurt but you somehow you manage to stand up. You look at her and she smiles at you. But your knees shake and as you start to fall over, she catches you just in the right time. You both sigh in unison. Then suddenly, you feel Lara sweep you off of your feet and she starts carrying you.

"Erm, what are you doing?" you ask, your brain clearly has a slow reaction and comprehend anything right now.

"You clearly can't walk" Lara says simply as a matter of fact. She then carries you in her arms. It's so embarrassing… Lara has had it much worse than you, let's not forget all of her wounds, all of her lack of sleep but she is somehow able to carry your limp body. She really doesn't have to.  
"Lara, you really don't have t-"

"Oh shut up, Sam" she cuts you off and you laugh a bit because she's so dead serious and stubborn. If she decided that she'll carry you down the mountains, she will and you won't be able to say a word to her, Lara won't listen. She's so persistent, you adore it.

So you do shut up. You look at yourself and you feel like a bride that is being carried around. Your white dress (if you can call it that) is floating in the air and you're humming some melody from years ago. You don't know why you remembered it, but you guess it has to do something with the fact that your mom used to sing it after telling you stories about Himiko. This song used to remind you of the beautiful and strong Sun Queen, now you're humming it to show the end of her reign.

Your thoughts then start to kick in. It's difficult, it's difficult to be like this. To not let your subconsciousness take over, to try to NOT let yourself understand. You need to stop thinking about this, Sam. But you won't, of course you won't. Maybe not now, maybe not tomorrow, but one day you will definitely start thinking too much about what happened on this God's forgotten island. And then you're going to go crazy. What about Lara? She'll be in grief, she'll be shocked, mad, angry. This wasn't a random fun adventure for you, it left scars, both on your skins and in your hearts. The question is, will you be able to help each other to take it as it is? The truth is like a bitter pill, you have to take it as it comes, you can't ignore. If you do, the situation will get worse than it ever was.

You have no idea how much time has passed, time isn't the most important thing on this island (unless there's a certain ritual involved), it isn't a priority. Time is relative but you can finally enjoy it, you don't need to be scared now. You turn your head a bit and for a moment stare at Lara's face. You still don't understand how she is able to carry you with her wounds. Is it the adrenaline? The "surge"? Her beautiful face is serious but her hazel eyes are blank. Yes, Lara is doing the same thing as you, she's preventing her brain from thinking too much. Like you've thought before, time isn't important now, because you try not to notice it. What matters the most is HERE and NOW. Lara sighs heavily and then stops in her tracks.

"Sam, is it okay if we rest a bit? I'm a bit tired" Lara asks dryly and puts you carefully on the green grass.

"Of course, of course, take all the time you need" (time again) you say sympathetically. You hope that when you'll get out of here, you'll be able to find someone to treat Lara's wounds. Her shirt is soaked in blood and it looks terrifying. Lara sits nearby and get closer to her.  
"You know" she starts to say and then turns silent. "You know, I thought I'd never see you again…".

"Lara, you don't need to-" you start but she cuts you off. Sam, you know what she wants to say and you know she wants you to listen, so just shut up. You put your head lightly on her shoulder and listen to what Lara has to say.

"Please, just let me tell you how I feel. When Reyes told me that you were taken by Whitman, I, my heart had shattered. Literally. I knew it would happen because I didn't trust him, but when it really happened I just couldn't move from the spot. Reyes, Jonah and I came up with a plan but when it was time to go I just sat there glued to the fireplace" Lara says not looking at you. "I was petrified, all the time. I thought that either the Stormguard, the Oni or Mathias will kill you. And later, that I will come too late to save you and will lose you forever. It was so difficult to cope with it, to live with it, to carry it, the burden." Lara's voice kept trembling the whole time, she was so vulnerable.

You wanted to say something, anything, but your mind was empty and you couldn't find the words to say to make her feel better. You knew that even if you came up with something, it wouldn't help. She was staring blankly at something in front of her and you wanted her to snap out of this, to understand that everything is alright, that she saved you, that you're here.

"Sweetie, it's ok, we're fine" you try, but you understand it's not enough now.

"No, Sam, we are not, this is totally fucked up. I don't know how we'll be able to forget this" Lara turns her head slowly to you. "No one leaves. Even if physically we will get out of here, I will be stuck in here in my mind for a long time. I think it goes the same for you".

It was weird hearing Lara being so pessimistic, though she was just being realistic. She was talking about the damage that couldn't be seen by plain eyes. This, the island, Himiko, it was a traumatic experience and you too have no idea how you'll get over it. But you have to try, there's no other way. Honestly, it's too late to give up now.

"Lara, we have each other, we will try to help one another to forget this place" you put your hand on her cold one. "We will have to take the hit eventually; we can't be running away from it forever, we can't be running round in circles to avoid it. Problems do not go away if we ignore them, we'll have to face them" you try to sound warm, encouraging.

"'But not now" Lara stands up.  
"Not now" you stand up as well and turn to Lara. She looks as if she wants to say something more but keeps quiet.  
"Sam?" she asks you and her gaze and voice automatically soften. She takes a step closer to you and she puts her forehead against yours. "Can we stay a bit like this?".

The question, its sadness just hits you. She needed comfort, a light touch, a soft embrace, just to feel that things might be ok. Your hands encircle her slim frame. It's so good just to be able to feel her but it isn't enough. And then you remember the kiss you've shared, it was like a salvation to you. You were able to go on just because you were holding on to that kiss.

"Salvation" you mutter.

"What?" Lara asks but you don't answer. You just claim her lips with your own. And everything suddenly changed, the sun got brighter and warmer, the grass smelt nicer and Lara's skin got hotter. The kiss instantly became deeper and more passionate. You could feel Lara spill her every ache, every emotion into the kiss and you took it. You were just kissing her, taking everything in. Lara's hands started tracing your body and her touches burnt like fire. You don't care about anything, you're HERE and NOW, you're enjoying the taste of Lara's lips, the softness of her kiss, the strength of her emotions. Sam, you'll think about other things later.

But now. Now you forget about everything.


	9. Chapter 9

**And I'm here again :) This chapter may be a little short but forgive me, I almost didn't have the time to write it. I didn't check any mistakes so don't be angry at me if you find them :D The next chapter will be the last one, I hope you like this story so far. Thank you for the wonderful reviews, I appreciate them and they keep me motivated :)**

**This chapter is in Lara's POV. Enjoy!**

You were not expecting this. You thought that maybe Sam would shout at you, yell that you got late, that she almost died, that she'd be cold, distant. But it's the opposite. Sam was being warm, gentle, nice and you were being pessimistic, ruining the mood, ruining everything. But Sam, she knew the best way to control you, to control your feelings. She said that she will be there for you and you felt your heart fill with joy. You both can try to get over it, to forget it if you are there for each other. Sometimes you feel like you both are cracks from the same vase, you both fit perfectly together. And sometimes you think that you are the two faces of a coin, so very close but with a solid metal wall in-between. The definitions change with the mood, feelings change also. You have never even guessed that you'll be kissing your best friend with so much passion and lust, her touches leaving a trail of fire, driving you crazy. These feelings are so opposite to each other, on one hand you feel as if you're falling apart, crumbling, shattering. And on the other hand, as if you're growing, rebuilding yourself. The war and peace within you.

You don't know why Sam has kissed you (not that you mind), but you tried to pour your every emotion into that kiss, into that dance of the tongues. It surprises you how much easier it is without words, you were never really good with them, not good at explaining how you felt. Even with your hazel eyes closed, you can see Sam in front of you, you can feel her, the warmth radiating from her body. Then she suddenly stops the kiss. With your eyes still closed, you can feel her putting one of her warm hands on your cheek. Sam leans in again but it is different this time – she kisses your forehead and pulls away.

"Lara, are you alright?" you hear her soft voice.  
"I'm fine, Sam" you answer, your eyes still closed, afraid of looking at her, afraid of comprehending the kiss.

But you open them just to find that Sam is standing really close to you. Her eyes seem to look right through you, she is trying to understand.

"We should, erm, we should go" you shake your head as you say this, your cheeks are burning red. "Reyes and Jonah are waiting for us".

Sam laughs at you, maybe at your rosy pink cheeks, maybe at your smoothness (Way to go Lara, couldn't you have said something nicer and not "we should go"?). But you know that it's ok, Sam understands you, she knows that you're not good with words and emotions, she just has to bear with it for a bit longer. Maybe later she can teach you how to be more open about how you feel. Now you just need to get out of here.

"Sam, can you-"  
"No, I still can't walk, I can barely stand" she interrupts you.  
"Do you want to rest more? Maybe you want some water?" you ask her. You need to take care of her, you need her to be fine.  
"It is okay, it's just… It annoys me how weak I am" she blurts out and looks away to the side, to the grass, to the mountains, anything but you.  
"Sam, what do you mean?" you give her a confused look.  
"It's just, you nearly died who knows how many times, you have all these serious injuries and you have to carry ME just because I'm too weak to be able to walk by myself" she spits out. Not angrily, not out of ill will. She thinks you had it worse, that you don't deserve to do this and that she's so weak she can't even handle it.  
"Sam, I know I've been injured and etc. but you almost died right now, you almost vanished. You would have disappeared without a trace. And it's traumatic, for your brain, for your body" you say slowly. "This is not a competition. If I feel good enough to help you, I will. Maybe later I'll be ill and you'll be fine and you'll take care of me. You never know. So please, don't think too much about this" you say and smile briefly at her.

"Oh Lara" Sam looks as if she's going to burst out in tears any minute. But she gets a grip on herself and just nods simply.

You take her into your hands and start carrying her again. Sam, you were foolish a minute ago, but can I blame you? It has always been the same with Roth and you. He had always done things for you, helped you, taught you and you never gave anything in return, just because you didn't have anything worthy to give him. But relationships, any kind of relationship isn't about equal exchange, it's not about being selfish. It's not about "if you give me this, I'll give you that", it's about giving in general. I help you because I want to, because I can, not because I'm waiting for a favor to be returned. If relationships are based on this, they'll crumble, eventually. You think Sam knows this better than anyone, it was one of those things you learned from being with her, you think it was stress and the traumatic experience of being a damsel in distress that got to her.

You go down by the mountains, carefully, not to fall or slip, not to hurt Sam. After everything that has happened, you thought you won't be able to carry her any more, but you guess the kiss gave you the energy to do so. At least the path down is clear, there's not much left too. You just hope that Jonah and Reyes are alright and have not been injured in the fight. The rays of sun aren't so warm anymore and only now you notice that the sun has almost set. The trees have been painted in various colors of the sunset. You need to hurry up a bit, Lara. As you think of those words, you see that you're already on the beach. Where are they? They must be somewhere close, you know it. The sound of the boat's engine informs you that they're here and as you turn your head to the side, you see them both.  
"Sam, we're here" you whisper softly only to notice that Sam has fallen asleep in your arms. You smile to yourself. Yes, she needs to rest, she's been so tired, you guess she also barely slept at all on this island. Jonah makes the boat get closer to the shore. Lara, you need to focus, only a couple of more steps. But you feel so tired too, as if all the heaviness in the world has been dropped on your shoulders. A step after a step and Jonah takes Sam out of your hands. Reyes looks at you sadly, though all-knowingly, Jonah puts Sam down.  
"I think she's going to be okay" you want to calm them down, to understand that you're both fine.  
"What happened up there?" Jonah asks and they both look at you."

"It's over. We can go now…" you shake your head slightly. You don't want to talk about it, at least not now. You know you'll have to tell them what happened, but just not now. You need to rest a bit yourself. This is it, you get into a boat and pray that everything will be ok.  
"Alright… let's get the hell out of here" Reyes is the first one to react, and to understand that you're in no condition to talk about the island. Jonah looks as if he wants to say something, but he cannot find the words to comfort you, so he keeps silent. Reyes just turns the boat to the horizon and you go sit near Sam, you want to be there when she wakes up.

Hours pass and you think about your father again, about all the stories he told you.  
"I've been so blind… so naïve" you think to yourself. "For years I resented my father, doubted him like the rest. But he was right about so much. I just wish I could tell him that now. There are so many mysteries that I once dismissed as mere stories. But the line between our myths and truth is fragile and blurry. I need to find answers… I must understand." You hope that you'll be able to make up to it, to understand, to learn. You need to find out, distinguish the truth from the lies, the real things from illusions. Then you'll be able to find the true peace.

You feel movement near you, body shifting.  
"Lara?" you hear a weak voice.  
"I'm glad you woke up, Sam" you lean in to kiss her forehead.


	10. Chapter 10

**This is it guys, this is the end, the last chapter of my story :) Like always, I want to thank everyone who left reviews, who liked my story, who told me what they thought of it, I'm really grateful for that. I am happy that so many of you loved my story even though it wasn't written greatly but still, thank you for your time too. Like I said to a couple of you, I hope I was able to do justice to our favorite Tomb Raider pairing, our Sam/ Lara fandom and the whole S.S. Endurance community. **  
**Also, I especially want to thank _LonelyLycanthrope_ and _Celefin_ for all the encouragement and kind words - guys, thank you so much. Every word you said meant so much to me, you have no idea :)**  
**This last chapter is in Sam's POV. I hope you enjoy it! Our journey together is over... For now.**

"Finally" you mutter to yourself as you stand on the deck of the ship that picked you up quite recently. It's not that you finally feel safe, it's not that. When the S.S. Endurance got wrecked by a storm, when you heard the sound of cracking glass, the water of the ocean pouring in, you thought that you'll never feel safe on a ship, ever. This still haunts you, what if disaster will strike once again? Is Himiko's spirit really on the other side now? What if it's just a pretty illusion to throw you off? What if there's still danger?

"We will be fine, Sam" Lara says not even looking at you, standing mere inches from you, shoulder to shoulder. How did she know? Did she feel it? Know it? You turn your head to observe Lara's face and then it hits you – Lara must have been thinking the same things as you. She's in the same spot as you are.

"I hope" you say as you take her cold hand into yours.

Still, there's no doubt that it's safer to be here on this big stable ship than on an old boat. You are glad they picked you up… It happened only a few hours ago but it seems like it has been days already. Here's at least a hint of civilization. You four were finally able to eat normal food and they gave you cabins with bunk beds and clean sheets. You guess that when you'll fall asleep, you'll wake up a week later, that's how tired you feel. But now, the medical team will check up on you and treat your wounds. You're scared for Lara, she is the one who's hurt the most and you hope that she will be fine. She needs to, she survived all of this not to fall ill now.

"Sam, Lara, are you going?" Reyes shouts from a couple of meters, Jonah is smiling and waving at you.

"Be there in a minute" Lara replies not turning her head and Reyes and Jonah slowly go to the medical team's cabin. Lara then stares into the calm ocean; you don't know what she sees there. A sunken S.S. Endurance? Faces of our fallen comrades? Herself? You don't understand, you don't even try to. Besides, it's really dark right now. When Lara was carrying you down the mountain on Yamatai, the sun was setting and the ship picked you up when it was almost as dark as in the nighttime. Still, you have no idea what time is it (and you don't really care because you are going home).

"Let's go" you say and Lara nods.

Jonah wasn't injured at all, nobody could take out the big guy he is. Reyes only had her arm bandaged. It's from that time the Solarii attacked you on the shipwreck beach after Lara left. It was that moment when you felt scared, that was that time when you understood that things are far from over. You, you sprained your ankle that Mathias bandaged and were able to get away with only a few bruises and scratches. And Lara… When she took of her shirt, you thought you would lose your consciousness. There were so many bruises, scratches, cuts, scars on her body that tears started flowing from your eyes. Reyes and Jonah were waiting outside while the medical team was cleaning up Lara and you were sitting there, crying soundlessly. Lara never showed that it hurt, you guess she was too tired to even feel the pain but it hurt you, your chest hurt just from watching all that wounds, her shirt soaked in blood. When they were done and Lara without any emotion left the cabin, you went up to the doctor and asked if she'll be fine.  
"I have no idea how she managed to stay alive all this time. Her wounds are pretty serious but now she'll be fine. We bandaged her, gave her medication so she should be able to recover from this. She needs to rest" the doctor answered seriously but with sympathy. "Her body is really tired so she needs healthy food and sleep too".  
You thank the doctor and go out feeling at least a bit relieved. She'll be fine, you know that she'll be fine. You notice that Lara is talking to Reyes and Jonah and when you come up to them, everyone smiles. Like good old times, huh?  
"We should all go to sleep" Reyes says, clearly tired. "We'll be home tomorrow evening".  
"Reyes is right, we need to rest, especially you, Little Bird" Jonah turns to Lara. "You need to build up your strength".

We say our respective goodnights and then slowly go to our cabin, which is in a different direction that our friends. Lara is quiet, too quiet but whatever she wants or doesn't want to say, you don't want to push it out of her. So you just ignore it, if she wants to say it, she'll do it. As soon as you enter the small cabin, you slowly start undressing and getting ready for bed, Lara does the same. You feel glad for the crew, that they gave you new clothes, even if it doesn't suit your taste, your grateful to have clean clothes instead of all ripped off. When you discard your shirt, you can't help but look at her body, which is now all wrapped up in bandages but is still marvelous and breath-taking. When you're both done changing, you help Lara get into her bed and then you take a few stairs to get into your bunk bed on top.  
"Goodnight, Lara" you say, words barely a whisper. You feel too tired to speak.

"Night, Sam" Lara mutters and you can hear her sheets rustle a bit.

You thought you'd fall asleep fast because of how tired you were but this was it – you were unable to do so, you were too tired to sleep. You tossed and turned in bed feeling weird. Why can't you fall asleep? What is wrong? What are you waiting for?  
"Sam, are you asleep?" Lara asks you and it hits you. She wanted to say something, she still wants to, and that is the reason you couldn't fall asleep – the anticipation, the pain, the waiting.

"No, I'm not, but you should be" you answer, your voice is shaking. You sounded a bit too strict but you couldn't help it, Lara really needs to rest.

"Sam, I…" you feel her start choking on her words, unable to breathe.  
"Lara, what is it?" you ask, your body leaning down, trying to see Lara's face in the dark but you're unable to. Then you get out of your bed and carefully get down tro the floor. What's going on? Is she hurting? Is she in pain? What's happening?

"Sam…" as you hear your name, you sit down on the edge of her bed and try to find her hand. When you finally do, you realize it's all wet. Your eyes get adjusted to the dark and you see Lara's face glistened with something. Tears.  
"Sweetie, are you, are you crying?" you're shocked. She doesn't respond, you just hear sounds of her trying to contain herself, but you can still figure out she's crying because her shoulders are shaking. You feel completely and utterly lost. Lara is crying, the hardened warrior, the survivor of Yamatai. And she's crying now, letting go of all of her feelings that were bottled up inside. A second ago you felt terror, now you just smile softly at her. She needs this, she needs to cry, to let it all out. You move a bit closer to her and she sits up, still shaking, still crying. Oh Lara… You softly guide her head towards your chest and her hands encircle your waist instantly. The warmth soothes you though your shirt is getting soaked in her tears (but you don't mind). As she sobs into your chest, holding you, you caress her smooth hair. It's terrifying, it is, to see Lara cry like this when you perfectly know how rarely Lara cries at all. Especially in front of someone else. But you're glad, you're glad that it's you to whom she decided to show her cracks, that she decided to let out all these tears, this hurt, this pain. Lara told you, that she was afraid she's no longer human, that she wasn't able to spill any tears during the nightmare that's called the Yamatai.

"Sam?" it looks as if she's calmed down a bit, her sobbing has quieted down. You look down and see that she's not looking at you, her eyes wandering over the whole room, just not looking at you.

"Yes?" you gulp and tense. Is there more to the story? Is there something else?

"I'm sorry" Lara says.

"Lara, I have already told you to stop apologizing. None of this is your fault" you try to sound as convincing as ever, you need to convince her, you need her to believe you or else she'll blame herself again and again and again.

"It's all my fault" she repeats these words God knows how many times. Lara, enough.

"Stop it" you can't stand it, you grip the sheet of the bed so tightly that your knuckles turn white. "Stop it. This is not your fault, we went there because we wanted to, not because you forced us, we went to Yamatai because it was our goal. We couldn't have known what would happen there. This isn't your fault so stop blaming yourself" you spit out, angry. How can she not get it? Why she's still blaming herself?

"But…" Lara tries once more but you don't let her finish the sentence.  
"No, just shut up. You don't have to take responsibility here. We went there on our own free will. Grimm, Alex and even Roth died because they made a choice. I don't mean that they chose to die, but they chose you over themselves. You were precious to them so please stop blaming yourself" you have to say this, while you're still fired up, while you're still able to. "Stand tall, Lara. You survived that damn island, you just have to pass down the memory of those three brave men, that's what they would want you to do. And not cry your eyes out and get pessimistic and stuff" you say out of breath. Wow, you never thought you'd be so fired up to say these words to her, but she deserves it. She deserves to be happy, there is no need to cling onto the bad memories. It doesn't mean we have to forget it as soon as we can, but we shouldn't dwell on it either.

It looks like she has calmed down completely; the tears have stopped streaming down her beautiful face. You carefully put your hand on her still wet cheek.  
"I know that you're right, I know. I just, I couldn't control myself" Lara looks up into your eyes, her hazel eyes shining. "I have lost so many dear friends and suffered so much. And this pain, it seems that it will never end, that's how I feel tight now even though I know it's not true. But on that road of loss and sadness I found something too".

"What is that?" You ask her and Lara smiles softly.  
"I found you, I mean, I found my feelings for you, I finally understood them. And this brings me happiness" she nuzzles her nose into your neck, holding you tightly, not wanting to let go.

That is right, we have each other now. We have "us", our feelings that still need sorting out. I lift her chin up and let my lips melt into hers. She's perfect, she's amazing, she's wonderful. She's everything I've ever wanted and finally I got her. She's mine now. Our tongues start the familiar dance as we enjoy the moment of being together and being safe. Now we don't have to worry about some Sun Queen, or crazy men trying to kill us, or about the betrayal of one of our people. Now we just dive into the ocean of our emotions and feelings and drown in them. Because we can. And then we slowly lay down on the pillows and fall fast asleep, Lara's head still on my chest, her hands gripping the white sheets. From tomorrow on, we'll have other things to endure. Things that are related to us, our feelings, our future, our past. We need to figure out this relationship between us, we need to take care of each other, to endure each other, to survive each other and learn to live with it, our feelings, our strengths and weaknesses. Human emotions, thoughts and feelings are and everlasting battle. It's the battle in me; it's the battle in her. It's the war and peace within me, it's the war and peace within her.


End file.
